"I will never doubt the value of collective slapstick misfortune as a bonding activity ever again," Stephanie announced, reaching out to fasten the chain's clasp. "Granted, the embarrassment factor means it won't ever be my favorite, but --"

She put on an exaggerated, psycho-infomercial-cheerful smile, complete with accompanying voice. "Isn't it nice to know we're all in it together?"