Toys, toys, for all bad boys

The room had been empty when he got here. Kaidan was sure of that. It had also been flatter, emptier, unending.

But the water at his feet had changed from still over sand to running over concrete. The sky was still a sharp blue, but now something very familiar hovered near, and there were walls surrounding him.

"Bomb is in position!"

That was his own voice.

He spun around and saw himself, in that thin grey wet suit-like outfit they used to consider armor. Standing in front of him, Shepard. Behind him, several marines and a bomb.

Virmire.

"Shit," he whispered. "No."

"Commander, can you read me?" Ashley's voice called across the comm, and shit, shit, shit, he knew how this went-- where was the exit?

[[ open to anyone from camp 1, because i am mean and believe trauma is made to be shared. ]]

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The room might have been empty when Kaidan had first come in, but it wasn't for long.

Sam entered quietly, but her gasp upon recognizing Commander Shepard wasn't quiet. She didn't know the planet or the voice on the comm, but she knew this couldn't be real.

She took a stab in the dark. "...Commander Alenko?" she called.

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"It's okay, Commander," a decidedly younger-looking Kaidan said. "I need a couple of minutes to finish arming the bomb. Go get them and meet me back here!"

Kaidan snapped his eyes away from the images. No. He needed to find an exit right now. He turned around, and--

"Specialist Traynor?"

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Sam hadn't even recognized the Kaidan beside Shepard for a moment: the age and the armor combined with the shock of seeing Shepard had distracted her. Now she looked from this younger Kaidan back to the rest of the... wherever this was, trying to find the Kaidan who had spoken.

She took a few more steps into the room, slowly. "What is this?"

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Kaidan sounded like he was facing an uphill battle with distraction. "Never seen the files on Virmire?" he asked. "Thought it made the news."

Maybe not everyone recognized Virmire as immediately and viscerally as you did, Kaidan.

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There were a lot of beach planets. And without recognizing Ashley's voice - Sam knew her face, but her voice? - it was hard to put a name to it.

Virmire, though. That one, she knew.

Her voice was a little more gentle as she asked, "This is what happened to you there?"

God, this felt so invasive. But she couldn't very well excuse herself now, could she?

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Behind him, Shepard grabbed Liara and Wrex and hightailed it through one of the large iron doors, leaving young Kaidan to work on the bomb.

"Heads up, L-T. We just spotted a troop ship headed to your location."

The large, bee-like Geth ship wasn't just heading there, though: it was already landing.

Kaidan glanced briefly over his shoulder. "Yeah," he said. "Look, it doesn't matter. We need to get out of here."

Problem was, he had no idea where the door was anymore.

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"Right. Sorry, sir. I came in just--"

Hadn't the door been there just a second ago?

"...I'm not sure," she finished.

In the meantime, without any idea where the door was or, in fact, where the real Kaidan was standing, her gaze landed briefly on the younger one, setting the bomb. Even Sam knew what was going to happen next.

She tore her eyes away and renewed her search for a door. Intruding on this memory wasn't right.

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Geth leaped out of the ship, several at a time. The few marines young Kaidan had backing him up slipped into cover, but he couldn't move - he had to set the bomb.

"They're already here," he called. "There's geth pouring in all over the bomb site."

"Can you hold them off?" Shepard's voice was matter-of-fact over the comm.

Young Kaidan sank down to one knee, getting water all over his armor. "There's too many. I don't think we can survive until you get here." Resignation and determination dueled on his face.

"I'm activating the bomb."

Actual Kaidan ran his hands over his face. No. He had to focus. The room was trying to trick him somehow. "You see anything over there?" he yelled, running across the area and straight through the mirage of an attacking geth. Maybe through one of those big doors?

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Sam had never seen live geth up close before, and she was finding it surprisingly difficult to remember that this wasn't real; as shots started firing in Kaidan's memory, Sam mostly wanted to hide.

Instead she walked briskly through the... simulation?, feeling out the air with her hands in the hopes of encountering something solid that was just camouflaged by the memory right now.

"Nothing yet," she called back, but that was unacceptable. She picked up the pace and began to jog.

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"Alenko, what are you doing?"

"I'm just making sure this bomb goes off. No matter what. ... It's done, Commander. Go get Williams and get the hell out of here."

"Screw that! We can handle ourselves. Go back and get Alenko!"

Kaidan could only hear it now, his back turned to the unfolding drama. He chose not to look, jogging after Sam. Behind him, the memory grew faded, distant. Suddenly they seemed to be running through a pastel blue painting, leaving behind the bomb and the people and the damned clearing.

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That was a relief, at least. If they had to be trapped here... at least the memory was over with.

"Lieutenant Commander, I am so sorry," Sam babbled as soon as she could no longer hear Ashley's voice. "These rooms - I had no idea this would be what it was." Then, more firmly: "It's awful of this place to put you through that."

Edited Date: 2013-04-11 02:10 pm (UTC)

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"It's fine, Specialist."

There was a tiny bit of bite in his voice. Kaidan kept a tight lid on his emotions even under ordinary circumstances - and these were hardly ordinary. "Just find an exit."

Re: An Aged Door

From:

playsforkepesh - Date: 2013-04-11 03:13 pm (UTC) - Expand

Re: An Aged Door

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not_a_whiner - Date: 2013-04-11 03:15 pm (UTC) - Expand

Re: An Aged Door

From:

playsforkepesh - Date: 2013-04-11 04:01 pm (UTC) - Expand

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Jack had barely made it through the door and into the empty fields when he almost literally bumped into Kaidan.

"Kaidan," he said gratefully -- it was always good to see someone familiar, and the blankness of the surroundings was giving him the creeps besides. "Have you figured out what this place is?"

Edited Date: 2013-04-11 04:58 pm (UTC)

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"Not good," Kaidan said. He was keeping it together, but in the process of doing so he... had gone a little overly-upright and distant. "Where's the door you used to come in?"

Because they had to leave. Now. The light was already starting to shift for the red and he really didn't want to know what was in store for him next.

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Jack lipped his lips against the dry air, a little puzzled by Kaidan's tone.

"I just walked straight, so it should be right behind me," he said, and glanced back. "Except --"

Except it wasn't, and Jack didn't like the look of that red light either.

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Something exploded near them, swallowing any opportunity Jack might have had to finish that sentence - or say anything else. Their surroundings shook and shivered - and Kaidan recognized it in an instant.

"It's the Normandy."

And there was Kaidan himself, a year younger, dashing through the hall in full white armor bar for his helmet, which was in his hand.

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Jack had brought his hands up over his ears on reflex at the explosion. He lowered them again as he glanced from one Kaidan to the other. "I don't understand," he said. "How?"

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"I don't know," Kaidan said. "It's like it's... reaching into our heads and plucking out our memories. Saw it happen to Allie, too. It's... cruel."

To her. He wasn't going to complain about it being anything to him.

There was another explosion, flames licking up out of the nearest chunk of wiring. Whatever was happening, it was ripping the ship apart - and the younger Kaidan kept running. "Shepard!"

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"Jesus." Jack didn't want to see this. Not for Kaidan, not for Allie, and certainly not for himself. "Is this a battle?"

He knew the flames were fake, shadows of things, but he still felt their heat lapping at his shoes.

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"It's the destruction of the Normandy," Kaidan said. His voice seemed level, but there was obvious tension underneath.

He followed his other self, because he'd long since learned running away wouldn't do him any good.

"Distress beacon is ready for launch," said the armored figure on the other side of the corridor.

The other Kaidan slid his helmet over his head. "Will the Alliance get here in time?" he snapped.

Another blast sent the two of them stumbling.

"The Alliance won't abandon us," Shepard snapped back, changing his trajectory so that he was less falling, more lunging towards the fire extinguisher. "We just need to hold on. Get everyone onto the escape shuttles."

Younger Kaidan snagged another fire extinguisher off the wall. "Joker's still in the cockpit. He won't abandon ship." He shot a look over his shoulder. "I'm not leaving either."

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Jack shook his head slightly, eyes on the Normandy scene as he tagged behind the older Kaidan. He knew his housemate was brave, but seeing him lay his life on the line made that even clearer. And hadn't Shepard died in the Normandy explosion?

He had no questions for the moment. He folded his arms, keenly watching the scene play out.

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Shepard yanked himself violently away from the opposite wall. "I need you to get the crew onto the evac shuttle," he snapped, "I'll take care of Joker."

Other Kaidan cast the fire extinguisher away. "Commander!"

"Kaidan," Shepard snarled, pulling on one of the broken hatches. "Go. Now."

And, as Kaidan knew he would, the other Kaidan wavered, on the edge of disobeying orders-- then pulled back. "Aye, aye," he said.

Kaidan flinched visibly. Stupid. Stupid, stupid, stupid decision.

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Jack flinched at Kaidan's flinch. "You're doing what you can," he said quietly. "No one would have expected you to drag your commander by his hair."

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